Rewind
by CharlieBlack448
Summary: You never think about it. All those chances you miss or ignore. Sitting hospital wing with James Potter makes me realize that I've pushed away my one chance to be happy for seven years. The fact of it is I should be in the hospital bed. Not him.


Icy tears leaked down her pale freckled cheeks down to her slightly chapped lips as she hunched over his bedside table. This wasn't right. Not here. Not now. The moment James Potter had been waiting for was happening and he wasn't even awake to see it. Lily Evans was falling for him. It just took him nearly dying for it to happen. Her crimson curls delicately touched his arm as she bent her head over his hand in distress. How could this be happening? All those chances she had to be with him. All those chances she had to be happy she ignored and now when she was ready for it he wouldn't wake up.

"_James…"_ She whimpered in a voice barely above a whisper, "James wake up." Her voice shook as she tried to hold it steady. "James…please wake up…"

_36 hours earlier…_

Charlotte bit her lip and leaned over the table towards Lily, "Lily? Did you do the Transfig homework yet?" she asked in between bites of her own breakfast.

Lily sighed overdramatically, "I'll help you with it tomorrow."

"Thanks Lil!" Charlotte beamed in happy surprise before turning to talk to Remus.

Alice flipped her short black hair over her shoulder and chuckled. "Lily you're _such_ a push over."

"No I'm not! I just no she will not give up until I help her so why bother arguing if I'm going to end up doing it anyway?"

"You have a point…A very weak point mind you but you have one."

Lily scoffed, "Thanks Alice."

"Anytime Red…." Alice smirked widely. "Hey what stores do you want to hit in Hogsmede today?"

"Ummm," Lily pondered it thoughtfully pursing her lips, "I dunno. I want some new quills and we definitely have to get some chocolate my stash is running low."

Remus's head perked up across the table, "_Chocolate_?"

Lily laughed heartedly brandishing her perfect teeth. "You want chocolate Remus? You can come with us when we go and get some."

"I'd love too." An annoyingly familiar male voice whispered into her ear as he wrapped his arm around her and Alice's shoulder.

Instantly her smile dropped and her eyes narrowed. "Potter get OFF ME!"

"Oh Lilykins, you're so feisty." James muttered huskily as she flinched away from him.

"_Potter…"_ She clenched her eyes shut, "How many times do I have to tell you to leave me alone?!"

He sighed, "Oh Lily! Why do you fight our attraction for one another? It's undeniable!"

"You know what's undeniable?" Lily turned and picked up her fork, "The pain this fork is going to cause when I lodge it into your eye!"

Alice moved into problem solving mode as she turned and locked her arms around Lily's shoulder's. "Woah there Lily! Don't go all temperamental redhead on us!" She looked up at James, "Potter you have glasses to stop the initial stab but not any secondary attempts. For your own safety I recommend leaving." She turned to Sirius, "Sirius dear if you could escort your friend out I would be oh so grateful."

Sirius looked down at his food and back at Alice, "But-"

"THANK YOU SIRIUS!" Alice told him loudly as she gestured to the fiery redhead she was still holding back.

"Fine…" Sirius grunted back before grabbing his best friends arm and dragging him out of the Great hall while lusting after his food longingly. "Prongs…I had to leave my breakfast."

James smiled at the agony in his friend's voice, "I'm sorry Paddy. I'll pay for your lunch."

"You better be." Sirius pouted as they sat down on the staircase.

"Mate…" Sirius began still slightly irritated. "Why do you still bother? She doesn't like you."

James nodded and rested his head on the back wall. "I know but I can't seem to stop myself."

"Well you need to learn to control it man."

"Sirius she isn't another girl. I can't just forget her. Don't you think I would've if I could by now?" James groaned and shook his head, "One day she'll see it."

Sirius didn't say what he thought. His honest opinion would break his best friend's heart. So instead he said, "Yeah... _maybe…"_ and left it at that.

Five hours later Lily, Alice, Emmeline and Dorcas were walking down the road to Zonkos. Dorcas had both of her tan petite arms covered with bag loops of all the purchases she made. Alice had her one small bag of Pepper Imps, Chocoballs. Lily had two bags; one filled with new school supplies and the other filled with Liquorice Wands, Chocoballs and fudge -_sadly Emmeline was the only one to not find anything worth spending her money on_. Though Lily enjoyed her new acquired goods and the company of her friends she did not however share the same sentiments of where the conversation had come to.

Emmeline pursed her lips at Lily disapprovingly, "You know if you would just give him a chance-"

"No!" Lily fired back furiously, "I hate him."

Alice scoffed, "Okay you may not want to go out with him but I don't actually think you hate him."

"Alice-!" Lily began but Dorcas cut her off.

"I dunno I think Potter's kind of hot."

Lily gave her the most bewildered expression in the world. "WHAT?!"

"I mean," She continued thoughtfully narrowing her hazel eyes, "He's what six foot?"

"About." Emmeline agreed with a shrug.

"And he's Quidditch captain and chaser so he's in good shape….I saw him and Black walking out of the Quidditch locker room, he's _built._"

Lily let out a cry of frustration, "It doesn't matter!"

"So you're saying he doesn't look good?" Dorcas argued suspiciously.

"No-"

"So you do find him attractive."

"Yes! Okay? I think he's good looking! I Lily Evans am physically attracted to him! Okay?! The problem isn't his looks it's his selfish, irresponsible, egotistical and obnoxious! He never thinks of the consequences for his actions or takes responsibility for them!" Lily yelled angrily.

Emmeline frown, "He has his flaws but-"

"Can we just not talk about this anymore?" Lily pleaded wearingly.

Alice smiled and put her arm around Lily, "Oh Lily. Have we hit a nerve?"

Lily shook her off and gave her a testy look. "Let's eat."

"Oh Lily," Emmeline laughed dryly, "Food will not shut us up for long."

"Long enough to find another topic!" Lily replied quickly as they walked into Three Broomsticks and sat at a table in the back. For a few minutes they just sat there and talked. Lily, Emmeline and Dorcas ordered some food.

Alice sighed when she checked her watch, "Well this is where I leave you ladies it's five and I swore to Frank I'd meet him at that cheesy tea place…What's it called?" She scrunched up her face in disgust and thought, "You know the one with all the pink _crap_."

"Madam Puddifoot's ." Emmeline provided with a revolted expression, "Do you ever feel like something pink is going to spring out from one of the corners and just…_attack you_?"

Dorcas nodded whereas Lily gave her a take aback glance. "Whaaat?"

"Don't think about it Lils." Alice smiled as she slung her bags over her head, "It'll hurt your little redhead."

"Bye, have fun." Emmeline mocked as Alice left.

"Hey," Dorcas announced to Emmeline, "I have to go potty."

Emmeline gave her the dirtiest look ever, "You seriously are going to do this?"

Dorcas smirked before using her whinny voice, "Ladies can't go to the bathroom by themselves!"

"Fine…._You ridiculous midget wench_." Emmeline muttered under her breath before following her to the bathroom.

Lily smiled and leaned back in her chair as she sat at her table alone. Across the way she saw James, Sirius, Remus and Peter. Remus was noticeably blushing while Sirius and James doubled over in laughter. For a second James glanced up and caught her eye but she instinctively lowered her gaze to her glass of Butterbeer. She didn't look at him again. Instead she let her eyes wonder around other parts of the pub. When her eyes hit the door she saw three dark cloaked Death Eaters walking in. Gasping she froze. Her heart felt as if glacial water was poured over her lungs and heart. She was unsure what to do. For just a second she looked over at James. His hazel eyes were locked tightly on hers as he stood concernedly.

All of them had masks and cloaks to hide any facial features but Lily watched as the tallest one pulled out a picture from his pocket and nodded. Then without any warning he turned and stared right at her.

"MUDBLOOD!" One shouted before shooting a spell right at her heart.

She closed her eyes and prepared herself for the spell. It never hit her. Lily felt a whoosh of air and was knocked hard to the floor. The arms that wrapped around her went limb. Breathing hard she pushed hard against the person until James fell back to the floor roughly. The Death Eater tried to hit her again but Sirius, Remus, _Peter -along with bunch of other seventh and sixth years-_ rushed over with their wands out. Sensing they were dangerously outnumbered the Death Eaters ran out of the shop and apparated away from the crowd surrounding them.

"_Move!"_ Sirius demanded as he bent down, picked James up and began walking with him back to the castle.

It only took Sirius fifteen minutes to get James to the hospital wing. When they gave him to Madame Promfrey she immediately made them all leave. Sirius paced nervously as Remus leaned against the wall and Lily slumped to the floor. She closed her eyes and tried to keep her cool but she had a hard time doing so. The image of him pushing her out of the way kept playing over and over again in her mind. Why did he do that? He came out of nowhere to save her. Lily couldn't think of a reason in the world why he would risk his life to save hers.

"Lily?" Remus whispered quietly. "You don't have to stay if you don't want to."

Her eyes lifted to his face in surprise and she found it hard to find her voice. "No…_I'll stay."_

Sirius stopped pacing, stared at her for a second before shaking his head. He wanted to say something to her but he held himself back. Never was Sirius the one to be well…serious. To honestly tell people what he thought of them was never one of his strong suits. Sometimes he would lash out in anger and let something hurtful slip but he would never straight up let someone have it. And he wanted to continue doing that so he stopped himself.

For an hour and a half they just lingered in the hallway. The more time that passed the worse the tension got between them. Sirius was becoming increasingly more aggressive with every step he took. Lily watched Sirius fight his temper down. It didn't work. Finally he just kicked the wall.

Remus shot him a look of warning but he bluntly ignored it. Sirius finally glared at her with all the hatred he had been feeling and holding back for seven years. Lily noticeably flinched at the intensity of it. He lowered down to her level and spoke in a harsh whisper, "_You are a stuck up, know-it-all, ignorant, bitch. _And you don't deserve to wipe James's shoes."

"_Sirius_…Don't." Remus started in a forbidding tone as his blonde eyebrows rose as high as they could go.

"No Moony." Sirius told him firmly before going back to Lily, "You treat him like shit and he still kisses your ass-"

Lily cut him off suddenly angry, "He treats me like some animal at the Zoo! Something he can stare and point at until he finds something more interesting!"

"_How can you_….HE LOVES YOU! He loved you from the first moment he saw you! Yes he went about it the wrong way but he is a_ good guy_. You are just a _heartless wench_."

And with that Sirius left.


End file.
